Is anything I’m doing brand new?

I am not sure what it is about being first that we like so much, but I have to admit to being a victim of this kind of thinking in the past. In my usual nosy social behavior I eavesdropped into a conversation at the beer garden yesterday. A girl was complaining to another girl about her boyfriend (that’s new). From what I gathered she felt somehow cheated because he had done with his ex all the things they were doing. I remembered feeling the same way in a past relationship and for some odd reason this song by Drake popped into my head:

Over time I have come to teach myself that one should only seek validation from ones own self to avoid being at the mercy of others emotionally. I have been called self-centered and arrogant but the whole point of not needing external approval to be happy is to deflect jabs like these. I suppose we all want to feel special and wanted in some sort of way. There is a soothing feeling to the ego when we think that someone thought to do something original for us. The problem is somethings cannot be made original and must be repeated. For example, I have a habit of drawing cards myself (I literally drew cards, like for Valentines and Birthdays). I hate to think that the effort that goes into this will somehow be diminished because I have drawn other girls cards before. The thought is still there and perhaps we repeat these gestures because we feel as we once felt when we first did them? Instead of worrying about what is brand new and recycled let us just enjoy what we are getting and who know a brand new surprise might just pop up at some point šŸ™‚


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