Anatole France put it best: ‘All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.’. Only 24hrs before I return to my home country I can’t help but wallow in thoughts of closing yet another chapter to my life. Unlike any other chapter, I am finally close to 25 which marks the typical age for a good 21st century quarter life crisis. I cannot speak for everyone in my generations but most people I have discussed this matter with seem to share a certain sense of apprehension. Changes are inevitable in life but somehow we manage to form the habit of putting on resistance even though we know all this will cause us is pain.
A long time ago I came up with the idea that everyone existed with a steady mental state which comprised of certain emotional cycles played on repeat. This is why some people have to constantly be in fights in the course of a relationship but refuse to break up, or some people cannot stand being single for too long. Once we get used to a routine it is easy to swing into autopilot and essentially put our life on pause by repeating the same actions week after week. However, once in a while life decides you are overdue a change of scenery and in throws the wrench of time into your clockwork way of life.
I have had a brilliant life in the United Kingdom. I have friends here I will never forget, heartbreaks I will tell my kids about, and what if’s that might remain forever unanswered. In my time here this place has become a home away from home and for that I will miss it dearly. But instead of drowning in thoughts of all that I will miss, I have told myself to welcome the changes ahead to ease the pain. I look forward to experiencing my home country as an adult and setting out on all kinds of crazy adventures. As a writer I have often thought about my own life in a book. Each time I slip into one of these pitfalls of depression I stop to remind myself the book isn’t going to write itself and rereading the past chapters only takes away the time that should be used in writing the new.
Have you had to deal with any big changes recently? Breakup? City move? Graduated? etc, feel free to share your experience and how you coped with it below.