Where do you stand on cheating?

Most of us will go through a cheating in one form or the other at some point in our lives. You may be a cheat or you may be cheated on, the only question is what are your opinions on cheating? For most guys this seems to be a no-brainer. Thanks to our ego and constant need to be viewed as adequate we are far less likely to put up with any form of cheating but ladies seem to tell another story. I have met some women very hot on this matter. In their opinion there is never an excuse or reason to cheat. If you cheat, you’re out and would be lucky to leave with both testicles and your car intact. Some other women on the flip side leave their partners with some room to wriggle. I have met ladies that are willing to discuss issues that lead up to the man cheating and if they feel they somehow contributed to the issues, they will forgive him and try to work it out.

While I will not endorse cheating as an alternative to problems in your relationship, I wouldn’t be naïve enough to say to you that it isn’t a common happening on every level of relationships. Personally, I believe in line with 21st century thinking considering to scrap a relationship over one count of cheating might have you switching partners more often than you would like to. The expansion of choice we have when it comes to partners can easily act as a catalyst to cheating once some form of discontent sets in while we are married or dating.

I know a lot of people are going to push for the moral high ground and say if a person wants to play about so bad then they should break up. But that isn’t really the case is it? Most people that cheat due to emotional starvation or just boredom in their relationships do not necessarily want to cheat but circumstances can be arm twisting. Most females I know have confessed to speaking with potential dates before they breakup with their current partner which goes to show once discontent sets in we a porous to bending rules to soothe ourselves. From my own experience I also find it is easier to cheat with a girl in a long term relationship than one still enjoying the bliss of the first year period. I will write about reasons the ‘spark’ seems to die out in another post but for now I will like to know what you think about fidelity. Is there ever a reason to forgive cheating or do all cheats belong in the trash?

Five in the AM


1. Aliens life found on earth?

I am always excited at the prospect of waking up in the morning to be greeted with news of E.T’s visit but for now I will have to make do with some micro-organisms. Scientists are again arguing whether some life forms collected by special balloons after a meteor shower is earthly or alien. See the link for more….http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/10321227/Alien-life-found-living-in-Earths-atmosphere-claims-scientist.html

2. Let’s just say our kids are not going to grow up on NES…boy do I miss playing my NES

3. Real or Fake? Watch Jim Iyke catch the holy ghost sent by TB Joshua….NO COMMENT

Members of Boko Haram splinter group attend a media conference in Maiduguri

4. Boko Haram kills over 40 in school….cowards!

These cowards continue to show themselves leaving disaster and bloodshed in their path. Even on religious grounds I know Islam disapproves of killing of children. But let us not get this confused with a holy war, these guys are just a sect of nut jobs and something serious has to be done about them. The situation is already out of hand.


5. Eventually we would all exist as biomechanical creatures, just think about it. But this is amazing advancement for neuro-mechanics (I might have coined this phrase myself).


Five in the AM

Alfredo in his workshop

Alfredo Moser: Bottle light inventor proud to be poor

1. What if I told you with only a bottle of water and some bleach you would never have to use a light bulb in the morning (as long as you live on the top floor that is). Alfredo has pulled off something similar to the work of Thomas Edison but he isn’t really looking to make a killing from his invention. See here for more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23536914

15-year-old Anthony Stokes has been denied the heart transplant that would save his life

Dying Teen Is Being Denied A Heart Transplant Because He’s Had Trouble With The Law

2. Fifteen-year-old Anthony Stokes has less than six months to live unless he receives an emergency heart transplant. But his family has been told that Anthony doesn’t qualify for the transplant list because he has a “history of non-compliance” — partly due to his history of earning low grades and having some trouble with the law. Ermm…this kid is 15 and I can already feel this turning into another race matter…See more here: http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/08/12/2453941/dying-teen-heart-transplant/


Testicle-biting fish invading Denmark, authorities warn

3. Guys, stay out of Denmark….this fish eats balls…literally! http://www.foxnews.com/science/2013/08/12/testicle-biting-fish-may-be-invading-denmark/

telsa hyperloop tube

Hyperloop: San Francisco to L.A. in 30 minutes

4. Science fiction or reality? Serial entreprenure and billionaire Elon Musk unveiled designs and plans for his hyperloop superfast transport system costing a fraction of the currently proposed high speed rail project. To think I was talking about something similar only three days ago! See here for more: http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/12/news/economy/hyperloop-elon-musk/index.html

Baby Messiah, Name Change

5. Did you know you could name your child Jesus but apparently not Messiah. The question is can you name your ‘savior’ which would be the English equivalent? See here for more: http://uk.eonline.com/news/448182/judge-orders-baby-s-name-be-changed-from-messiah-says-only-jesus-has-earned-that-name

That’s just the way it is :)

Anatole France put it best: ‘All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.’. Only 24hrs before I return to my home country I can’t help but wallow in thoughts of closing yet another chapter to my life. Unlike any other chapter, I am finally close to 25 which marks the typical age for a good 21st century quarter life crisis. I cannot speak for everyone in my generations but most people I have discussed this matter with seem to share a certain sense of apprehension. Changes are inevitable in life but somehow we manage to form the habit of putting on resistance even though we know all this will cause us is pain.

A long time ago I came up with the idea that everyone existed with a steady mental state which comprised of certain emotional cycles played on repeat. This is why some people have to constantly be in fights in the course of a relationship but refuse to break up, or some people cannot stand being single for too long. Once we get used to a routine it is easy to swing into autopilot and essentially put our life on pause by repeating the same actions week after week. However, once in a while life decides you are overdue a change of scenery and in throws the wrench of time into your clockwork way of life.

I have had a brilliant life in the United Kingdom. I have friends here I will never forget, heartbreaks I will tell my kids about, and what if’s that might remain forever unanswered. In my time here this place has become a home away from home and for that I will miss it dearly. But instead of drowning in thoughts of all that I will miss, I have told myself to welcome the changes ahead to ease the pain. I look forward to experiencing my home country as an adult and setting out on all kinds of crazy adventures. As a writer I have often thought about my own life in a book. Each time I slip into one of these pitfalls of depression I stop to remind myself the book isn’t going to write itself and rereading the past chapters only takes away the time that should be used in writing the new.

Have you had to deal with any big changes recently? Breakup? City move? Graduated? etc, feel free to share your experience and  how you coped with it below.

No room for a home marker?

While I have always been an admirer of ambitious women I have also always been an advocate for freedom of choice. For the longest time I have been of the opinion that for a home to be run successfully, at least one of the partners involved has to be more domesticated. When I say domesticated in this instance I mean one of the two has to be concentrated more on the running of the house if they want to create time for the children and even for each other.

Traditionally, the role of home maker used to be that of a woman, but women have come a long way from that and I will not insult their struggle by suggesting that we go back to that. This is what I would suggest instead. I find that in most relationships there is already someone more suited to be the home maker and both already know this. If your mind has already nominated a woman to fill this position it’s not my fault that stereotype exists. I believe the more domesticated partner can be the man or the woman but that isn’t what makes us so nervous about playing the role of home maker.

For most men we have the egocentric thinking that tells us it is emasculating to take on such a role and there is also the problem of how women perceive men. I will venture into the land of assumptions and claim that most women are predisposed to being attracted by a financially successful man. This is not to be mistaken for gold digging! Being able to provide has long been an evolutionary advantage for men and that mentality still lives on. Women on the other hand face what I have now termed the ‘feminist stigma’. No man I know of has ever shown distaste over a woman deciding to get a job that afforded her more time at home (if the husband can afford it we don’t even mind full time housewives). Women on the other hand with the new ‘do you think I belong in the kitchen’ attitude have taken to talk down on other females that might have decided to become home markers.

Bit of funky grammar going on here…

It seems like in a world that demands more and more of our time, instead of running the family unit like a single household we have adopted an independent lifestyle over a cooperative one. Maybe it is time to start thinking about how we view relationship dynamics and how we think of the role of the home maker. Running a home is no easy task and sometimes could be the difference between a lasting relationship and a broken one.


If you went to school in Africa (Nigerian boarding schools to be precise) you undoubtedly have a completely different perception to what gets passed off as bullying in the West. The concept of cyber-bull where I’m from is more or less an oxymoron (ain’t no body got time for that!). From as early as nine or ten years old most kids (myself included) experience physical bullying in the form of belting and a range of corporal punishments I cannot begin to explain. The school systems are structured to permit this kind of treatment with an unspoken rule that arranges a power structure within students based on what year you are in. Teachers of course are allowed to smack you. While I will not promote or defend bullying in this way, I would point out that this ‘suck it up’ philosophy encourages a certain type of character building unseen in the West as far as bullying is concerned. I have been reading through comments about the victim of cyber bullying on Ask.fm that ended up hanging herself and it has really got me thinking. Of course this is not the first time such a case has arisen and if steps are not taken it wouldn’t be the last either.

Most comments seem to call for better monitoring of these sites, better parental monitoring of children’s internet activity, or blame the victims for not being mature enough to handle the situation. I think it is worth considering how children are socialized these days to figure out if society is not giving kids the tools essential to build strong characters. Could it be possible that in today’s society children are over-protected and under-monitored? I will give an example. In Nigeria it is very common for parents to physically hit their kids to  deter them from repeating an offense. Because this happens to everyone there is no stigma attached to it. No Nigerian grows up feeling ‘abused’ because their parents hit them with a belt or shoe on a few occasions. In the West a parent hitting the child provides this child with a sob story for the rest of their life. I actually remember being teased with the term ‘ajebor’ (posh) in school because I said my parents never hit me. In fact I considered making up that they did just to feel normal!

Do you think old people suggest bringing back the cane because they want others to taste their pain or because they actually believe it is can help for character building?

I do not have kids therefore I feel rather unqualified to suggest a solution, but it is obvious that much needs to be done in regards to character building to reduce the need for social acceptance among the young. Perhaps some scheme rolled out to lecture kids on handling bullying after teaching them how to put condoms over cucumbers?

Toying with sex…

Don’t ask what led to this, but basically I went from discussing the possibility of a future where robots were integrated into society to how they might replace spouses. There are already people married to dolls and even pillows in Japan. The obvious question was would we eventually start sleeping with machines…ermm we kind of already do (vibrators and all that stuff). But I’m not trying to write a post about sex toys, instead I’m trying to ask why is it that the use of sex toys is socially accepted for women but not so much for men?

Women talk to each other about their latest purchases and there is no real awkwardness in discovering a sex toy in a female’s room. For men on the other hand, your hand is as much a helper as you are allowed. Just imagine walking into a guy’s room to discover this:

Given that men are generally assumed to be the hornier of the gender you would think the shop floors of sex shops would be littered with toys intended for male sexual gratification but this is far from the case. I have two theories to support the phenomenon but I am curios to what everyone else thinks. Firstly, I propose that maybe because it is too easy for men to ‘arrive’ there is really no need for us to invest in extras. While this explains why very little research and development has gone into producing male sex toys, it doesn’t explain why it is hasn’t been normalized in society for men to use sex toys for self-pleasure (I am cringing writing a lot of these phrases, such a prude). Regarding the social stigmatization of men using toys for masturbation I am guessing it arises of the egocentric thought process of men in regards to sex. Because we praise our ability to be promiscuous we regard using such toys as a sign that the guy is ‘not getting enough’ because his game is weak. Women on the other hand are free from this conception, at least to a degree enough to make it acceptable for them to substitute with mechanical assistants. Any thoughts?