Five in the AM

Rich Kids of Instagram, Lion

Rich Kids of Instagram’ to Become a Reality TV Show

1. So you think you’re cool with your pouts and hats, well these kids are so cool they are getting their own TV show! Not a fan of reality TV shows as they are always far from reality but I will give this an episode to see what it’s about. See here for more info:

The crime scene. Inset: Rewire’s corpse

Cultists on revenge mission stab two to death

2. Hate to be the bringer of bad news again but cultists in Nigeria have apparently killed two young men is a revenge plot. Two other occupants of the house were stabbed and shot but luckily survived thanks to police intervention. Good to know our response times are getting better 🙂 See the link for more info:

Inspector-General of Police, Mohammed Abubakar

Just when I was praising our men in uniform this happens

3. Some policemen have raised the alarm over what they termed, arbitrary deductions from their salaries. The policemen alleged that the Mechanized Salary Section of the police made unauthorized deductions of N5, 000 from their salaries. It was learnt that the money was for the procurement of Fokas Savings and Loans Limited shares. The policemen believed this reduction to be dubious and they weren’t even informed of it! See link for more:

50 Cent Pleads Not Guilty to Domestic Violence Charge

4. 50 Cent entered a plea of not guilty in court on Monday for charges of domestic violence and vandalism in a case involving his ex-girlfriend, Daphne Navarez. The rapper was told to stay away from Navarez, reports The Associated Press, and he is also prohibited from contacting her via phone and email. Read more:

5. First 3D-Printed rifle successfully fires 14 shots. I really hope these 3D-Printers are regulated. I would definately like the idea of being able to print whatever I want from home but we can’t have people printing guns like it’s coursework! See here for more:




Five in the AM

Hitting women now illegal in Lagos (only took donkey years, but better late than never ey)

1. Lagos is just implementing jail sentences to protect women from domestic abuse. Not sure the status in other states but this is a start. I’m now just waiting on the same law to be passed for domestic abuse on men. We all know some Nigerian women would give your average man a good beating after she tightens the wrapper on her waist.

Boko Haram

Boko Haram are in the news again!

2. Thirty-five people, including two soldiers and a policeman,have been killed  in two separate gunfights between security forces and members of the militant Islamist sect,  Boko Haram,  in  Borno State. For more info see:

Genevieve Nnaji helps the opharned children

3. Seems like Nigerian celebs caught up with my last post on not doing enough for charity. Ice Prince was in the BBA house to discuss poverty and charity yesterday and then Genevieve is asking for donations to move these kids to a better home. This is what we like to see. I really hope this becomes a new trend, even if it’s for publicity it’s better than pictures of gold chains and new cars.


This female rapper claims Jigga tried to hit it when married to Bey…

 4. When will these women learn that claiming a famous celeb tried to cheat with you is never a good look for your career. And of all rappers to try to drag into the mud, Jigga, Jay-Z, Hova, God MC….This dude can do no wrong. Even if it was true no one cares, it’s Jay-Z! ‘We don’t believe you, you need more people’. Advice for upcoming female artists: AVOID slandering any already famous artist. Here is how she put it:

“I could have messed with Jay, but got respect for Bey, We were on the same set of a commercial, see, I was sitting by myself, and he sat next to me, I was handling it well, and he was shocked to see, I was getting up to leave, he sent his guards to me, Excuse me Miss, do me a favor, put your number on this piece of paper, When Jay get settled and he’ll call you later, I know most chicks would have took the bait, but then those chicks be the ones I hate, I wonder to this day if I’d have gave it up would it be me on stage THROWING IT UP … THROWING IT UP!!”

Victim: Hannah Smith, 14, has killed herself after being bullied by anonymous trolls online

Schoolgirl is ‘trolled to death

5. A 14 year-old girl has been trolled to death on, This poor girl hung herself after receiving a string of abusive messages online (shame on these trolls!). I don’t know how many kids will commit suicide before sites like and Formsprings get better regulation. Kids need to be educated on handling trolls, and even adults too. Just the other day women were in the news complaining about trolls (Ladies see Rhianna’s responses for how to handle trolls). Let’s be fair, Justin Bieber and One Direction get trolled probably more than anyone on the planet, but as usual it is never as serious when the victim is male.

Five in the AM

Inter-state deportation of the poor.

1.Only in Nigeria can a governor round up a group of destitute Nigerians and ship them to another state. Fashola literally had these guys delivered to Anambara State. He isn’t sure where to take the new captured as the governor of Anambara is currently not happy with the first batch. Welcome to Nigeria where freedom is never free.


Will you eat a lab grown burger?

2. With population increase becoming a global issue scientists have decided to grow foods in the lab. I guess genetically modified produces just aren’t cutting it anymore. I wonder if we would be able to taste the difference. See link for more info:

Meanwhile in Japan…

3. Meet Kirobo the talking robot that can hold conversations and is now being sent to space. He is still too small to be scary but we can no longer deny the possibility of co-existing with robots. Anyone remembers iRobot? See link for more info:

Doyin Okupe and Lai Mohammed


 4.The Presidency on Sunday blasted APC leaders saying that they were not only unprogressive but also describing  them as “politically expired” politicians. However, the APC reacted swiftly, saying Nigerians knew very well that  most of the PDP leaders were septuagenarians and octogenarians (see grammar).

APC national leaders – Chief Bisi Akande  is 74 years, Maj.-Gen. Muhamadu Buhari,70;  Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, 61  and Chief Ogbonnaya Onu, 61. The PDP National Chairman, Bamanga Tukur,  is 76; Board of Trustees Chairman, Chief Tony Anenih, is 80  and Chairman, Disciplinary Committee, Umaru Dikko, is 77. Guess we are quite not yet the leaders of tomorrow with these old head running the country. And how about a public manifesto instead of all this in-fighting?


Didn’t people just assume this before Snowden?

5. I find it very odd that people didn’t just figure out that the NSA was tapping pretty much everything before Snowden. It’s like when it made the news that Micheal Jackson’s kids were adopted and people acted surprised. Those kids have blue eyes. MJ (God rest his soul) might have been paler than a vampire but it still takes double blue phenotypes to have a blue eyed baby.

Colonization, a necessary evil.

No quite accurate but you get the point….stop bitching

I understand that I run the risk of being branded a sellout or something of that sort with this one, but the day I let thoughts like this deter me is the day I will have officially lost both my balls. Following a heated Facebook debate over a link from a previous article, I have decided to tackle this subject head on. Personally, I am very much against playing the victim. People feel victimized because they condition their minds to feel that way. Anyone noticed how hitting a child in UK is termed child abuse but back home at best it’s corporal punishment. No Nigerian walks around feeling abused because their parents, teachers or seniors in school gave them a good beating. So why do we walk around feeling like victims of colonization? It’s been like 54 years and we still site colonization as the reason for our inability to come together as a country. You can blame the white man for grouping us in one country, but you sure as hell cannot blame him for us not being able to work through our cultural differences. You can definitely not blame him for political corruption or the fact that we haven’t had any visionary leaders since the founding fathers. You cannot blame him for the fact that the elite Nigerians have a self-centered mentality being passed down from one generation to the next.

Let us not forget that colonization introduced the concept of education and birthed modernization which by all counts is a necessity to survive in the global village we inhabit today. I am not trying to ass kiss the British, facts are facts. We can accept them and move on, or we can wallow in the past. As far as I can see the only disadvantage to colonization was the grouping of a culturally diverse region into one country. But if we were so against this idea why did the South and North not allow the East to breakaway to form Biafra? Because everyone wanted a piece of the resources available in the East. I forever commend Zik on agreeing to share power with the North because he believed in the idea of One Nigeria. He believed we could overcome our cultural differences as was outlined in the principles of his philosophy (Zikism). Sadly we have left him turning in his grave and we are blaming the white man like the Naira didn’t used to be equal to the pound. How was the British supposed to know we would elect one idiot after the other or go through military coups after military coup. I have noticed how Nigerians complain about not being able to read blog posts and lets not even get into reading books. It is 2013, information and knowledge like never before is at our finger tips, how about we apply ourselves to learning to build a better society instead of rethinking how the white man did us wrong.

And for the overly religious, the white man brought Christianity to Nigeria too, so next time you are saying praise the Lord don’t forget to thank the British while you are at it.

Five in the PM

Deeper Life Pastor Rapes 11yrs Old Girls

Not that there is anything new about “Men of God” molesting kids but this has to be the most outrageous reason ever. The pastor said he was possessed by evil spirits that made him do it. Right…

Beverly and Angelo have sex in the BBA House

If it’s on national TV and on a reality show…Is it still classed as porn? It is good to see that voyeurism exists worldwide though. Comments on this have been pouring in by the truck load. Negative or positive, Africa is watching.


Forget 50 Shades of Gray. Check out 40 Days of Dating

Two friends have embarked on 40 days of dating and are giving an introspective view into the process on the blog Check it out for all the juice.


Sheikh Abubakar Shekau, leader of the violent Islamic sect, Boko Haram, has reportedly been shot and deposed by members of his own sect, Boko Haram

A new leader, Abu Zamira Mohammed, who is the sect’s leader  negotiating with the federal government has been appointed new leader by the group’s Shura Council. – See more at:

Arsene Wenger

Still hasn’t bought any player…

Not really news but hey, it’s Saturday, nothing interesting has really been happening 🙂

Dating 2.0

It is evident in the divorce rates and even break up rates that relationships are just not what they used to be. Like every other facet of societal interaction the dating and relationship scene has been evolving to adapt to the times. I will break the life cycle of relationships into three parts to enable us get a picture of how much has changed.

Part One (The first encounter)

Imagine being born 20 years ago…no cell phones, no Twitter, no nothing! I guess you could say that was a simpler time. I do wonder how guys closed a chat up. Did they just ask for an address straight up instead of a number?

Asking for an address today will earn you the ‘creep of the year award’. In fact these days guys have to avoid asking for numbers directly by asking for WhatsApp. My friend said a girl offered him a Twitter handle the other day. She didn’t even follow back! Call me old school but for me it’s a number or nothing. Keep your Facebook, you BBM, Kik, and whatever else girls are handing out these days.

Part Two (The meet up)

Guys I know you can relate to this. Has anyone been in that limbo situation where you feel like you are almost dating a girl in the digital sphere? You have spent so long chatting that you are even starting to lose interest. I came up with the theory that most women have an attention tank that constantly needs refilling. My ex-girlfriend was so kind to confirm this by admitting that compliments from other guys were more flattering as she already expected compliments from me and couldn’t tell if I was just doing my job as a boyfriend. I considered telling her sex from other girls felt more gratifying as I expected it from her and wasn’t sure if she was only doing her job. The point I’m trying to make is that women seem to have a couple of attention donors on the go at every given time. My bro tip for this is simple, tell it like it is. ‘Are we meeting up or what? You are killing my battery!’

Part Three (The grind)

So you’ve been on a few dates and it’s on now. Congratulations! The honeymoon phase can be sweet but after that comes the grind. This is the make or break stage and by God will you be put to the test. One of the biggest advantages of the modern world dating arena doubles as it’s biggest disadvantage too. I call this the problem of choice. Not only are we able to retain the links to an uncountable amount of potential partners, we can now browse all sorts of social media and dating sites as well.

The result of this is the inability to settle once the first wave of boredom comes crashing down. Girls are just as bad at this as guys. In fact if your girl is going to leave you, she already has your potential replacement on the line. There is no real cure to this problem. It simply comes down to a compatibility issue. Gone are the days when people ‘managed’ relationships. In this era of fast everything, there is only so much people will try to work out differences. To circumvent this problem I came up with the idea of never committing officially. I found that the moment it is official with a label the count down has already begun. I will discuss this further in another post.

P.S I realize this post reads a bit like it was written for guys. Ladies I owe you one 🙂

Five in the AM


Snowden Granted Asylum in Russia

You have to hand it to the Russians when it comes to having balls in the face of the Americans. These guys no fit shout. Oya, America go and make noise there. All countries are equal but Russia is not Bolivia.

Nigerians in Benin Republic raided and dumped in a camp

No hope……

Ariel Castro (second left) listens to his sentencing in Cleveland, Ohio, US... on Thursday.

Cleveland kidnapper sentenced to 1,000 years

ONE THOUSAND YEARS….That has got to be worth at least ten life times. Guess he knows what to be expecting after reincarnation!

Rapper Arrested For Murder Due To Incriminating Lyrics

Rapper Arrested For Murder Due To Incriminating Lyrics

On the song, which has since been removed from YouTube, Steward raps:

“Everybody saw when I [expletive] choked him. But nobody saw when I [expletive] smoked him, roped him, sharpened up the shank then I poked him…had me crackin up so I joked him, it is betweezy six feet ova, told ya [expletive] with my money I’ll roast ya.”

Well there you have it your honor…

Bose and the triplet.

Farmer flees home as wife delivers triplet!

Bose said, “We have been together as a happy couple for over 10 years. The birth of these triplets should not separate us. I don’t even know his whereabouts, but I am begging him to come back home for the sake of these innocent babies.”