We Really Want a Lot More Than Sex

Recently I have come across three different articles, all written by women on ‘how to keep your man’. To my surprise each one of this articles painted a picture that all men really needed to be happy in a relationship was sex. They raised the notion that most women taper the supply of sex until men have to go elsewhere to fulfil their desires. One even went as far as saying that women can try things like changing sex location i.e a bit in the bed room, a bit in the kitchen…you get the drill. Now I won’t say men don’t need sex on a somewhat regular basis, but most mature men will tell you that like everything else sex has its place in our day to day life and an oversupply of it is not going to do you any special favours.

To start with, there is only so many times a man can have sex with the same woman before he becomes used to it and the excitement dies down. This woman can be the Mona Lisa or Beyonce, it doesn’t really matter. If you are hoping to hold a man’s interest you must consider a lot more than his sexual needs. In fact our sexual needs are the easiest to fulfil and let’s be honest, it doesn’t really take a lot to do this. So what do men want I hear you ask?

I cannot give you a golden bullet or a one answer solution because there isnt one. Different men want different things and do not ever let any book or article tell you what men want categorically. Instead of feeding you some recycled lie I would tell you a hard truth. The only way to secure a man’s heart is to make yourself indispensable. If any other woman can supply exactly the same services you are supplying then what makes you special? Contrary to the idea that men are shallow and want to sleep, fuck, and eat in any order, we are actually interested in a lot of things. Some men love football, some love music, some love politics, the list goes on. You only have to examine a male magazine stand to see how wide our interests can be. Instead of investing all your time in sex think about your man’s interests and passions and how you can support and discuss these things with him. Every man is looking for a woman to make him an even better man. Regardless of how good that pussy is (pardon my use of language), without the right personality to compliment it, a man will grow tired and stray.

I will be attempting to write about how to keep a woman interested soon but to be honest I am still trying to figure out that one. Wish you all the best in your dating endeavours 🙂

Where do you stand on cheating?

Most of us will go through a cheating in one form or the other at some point in our lives. You may be a cheat or you may be cheated on, the only question is what are your opinions on cheating? For most guys this seems to be a no-brainer. Thanks to our ego and constant need to be viewed as adequate we are far less likely to put up with any form of cheating but ladies seem to tell another story. I have met some women very hot on this matter. In their opinion there is never an excuse or reason to cheat. If you cheat, you’re out and would be lucky to leave with both testicles and your car intact. Some other women on the flip side leave their partners with some room to wriggle. I have met ladies that are willing to discuss issues that lead up to the man cheating and if they feel they somehow contributed to the issues, they will forgive him and try to work it out.

While I will not endorse cheating as an alternative to problems in your relationship, I wouldn’t be naïve enough to say to you that it isn’t a common happening on every level of relationships. Personally, I believe in line with 21st century thinking considering to scrap a relationship over one count of cheating might have you switching partners more often than you would like to. The expansion of choice we have when it comes to partners can easily act as a catalyst to cheating once some form of discontent sets in while we are married or dating.

I know a lot of people are going to push for the moral high ground and say if a person wants to play about so bad then they should break up. But that isn’t really the case is it? Most people that cheat due to emotional starvation or just boredom in their relationships do not necessarily want to cheat but circumstances can be arm twisting. Most females I know have confessed to speaking with potential dates before they breakup with their current partner which goes to show once discontent sets in we a porous to bending rules to soothe ourselves. From my own experience I also find it is easier to cheat with a girl in a long term relationship than one still enjoying the bliss of the first year period. I will write about reasons the ‘spark’ seems to die out in another post but for now I will like to know what you think about fidelity. Is there ever a reason to forgive cheating or do all cheats belong in the trash?

Chivalry is dead, and no, women DIDN’T kill it!

Love these ironic jokes

Love these ironic jokes

It has become popular opinion that chivalry is dead, and it was murdered in cold blood by women with their battle for equality, I beg to differ. Chivalry is dead because men today lack the character to be chivalrous. Guys are going to argue saying:

‘These women today don’t act lady-like so why should they be treated like ladies?’, ‘They want equality right? Well, they can open their own doors, pull out their own chairs, and I’ll be damned if I offer her mine, that b*tch better have some calf for standing’…you know what guys are like.

Before I carry on with my rant allow me to define chivalry: The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women (it did not specify a type of woman, it is towards ALL women). Keeping in line with the context of this post I will address mainly gallantry towards women. Day to day life in 2013 doesn’t really offer a lot of opportunity to display bravery, and honor (unless you’re in the army). If you already can’t display courtesy then you have no hope of ever being a decent person.

The notion that the independent woman cannot co-exist with the chivalrous man is at best lazy, and worst stupid. Men did not treat women gallantly because they felt women were somehow unequal to them in the past. So why would we decide that the working woman is somehow not deserving of the same treatment her ancestors enjoyed. Guys, please stop letting the side down and get some manners.

Ladies you have to be receptive to this treatment. I have to say I’ve met a few ‘I can do it all myself’ women. That’s not the point!

As for the argument that the 21st century woman doesn’t act like a lady and should therefore not be treated as such, why are we making excuses? Respect must be earned and not given, but that should be no excuse to develop inconsistency in character. I like to think of my gallantry towards women as a personality trait. It should be independent of the woman in question. We don’t need to deem a woman the cream of the crop or creme dela creme of the female specie to show some manners. If women went about accessing men for traits of classic gentlemen, the bulk of us are at best grown babies suffering from emotional instabilities and a sever case of immaturity. There is never an excuse not to show some class, unless you have no class that it. Rant over 🙂

Five in the AM


Jilted lover sets corps member, friend ablaze!

1.So you think your breakup was stressful? This girl was set ablaze! According to reports her ex pretty much empited a can of petrol on her and I’m sure you get the rest. This happened as far back as July but is only getting public attention now as it is about to go to court. I cannot begin to imagine why it took so long. See here for more: http://www.punchng.com/news/jilted-lover-sets-corps-member-friend-ablaze/

Love is in the air…

2. I have to hand it to Jay-Z for his ability to get beefs sorted out. First he made up with Nas, then Timberland, and now he is seen talking with Dame Dash. I hope he helps out his old friend with this financial issues. But Dame needs to regulate his spending, I remember watching a documentary on him years ago where he confessed to wearing a pair of socks only once before discarding it…WTF. See here for more: http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/news/id.24965/title.jay-z-dame-dash-photographed-together-for-first-time-in-years

Vietnam to ban discussion of news on social media sites

3. Have you ever imagined going to jail for updating you Facebook status, or even worse, commenting? I Vietname there are talks to ban everything but personal conversations across all social media. The things the rulers of nations can dream up is unbelievable. Good luck to them. Click here to see more: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-08/06/vietnam-decree-72

3D printed shoes signal revolution in how we shop

4. Printed swag coming soon! Imagine being able to simply print what shoe you wanted? Sounds like every girl’s wet dream to me. See here for more: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-08/06/3d-printed-shoes

PayPal ‘check in’ app lets you pay with your face on the UK high street

5. Left you card at home? Don’t worry, just make sure you have your face. I do wonder if identical twins would be able to steal from each other? And what happens when you get older or get into a fight to leave your face disfigured? See more at: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-08/07/paypal-check-in

Whose fault is it anyway?

I managed to catch a clip of the now famous Game of Thrones where one of the slave girls was teaching the Khaleesi how to erm…you know..’do the do’. When Drogo came into the tent for his fix she was shown to take some control and as they say, the rest is history. This got me thinking, ‘why is it that the performance of sex sessions seem to rest a lot on the man in society’. You hear about ‘one minute men’, ‘small d*ck syndrome’, a lot of women say the man wasn’t manly enough or ‘didn’t seem to know what he was doing’. For men the most I’ve heard a guy complain about is that the girl laid there like a log. I’ve never even heard a guy complain of ‘loose puss syndrome’ besides a friend of mine that for reasons beyond me got with a 40-something year old woman in an alleyway. He described the experience as throwing a sausage into a tunnel. Anyways, not to go off topic: Is it possible that a lack of responsibility on sexual performance has limited the way women think of sex?

What a title! Ladies what are you reading?

Even so, now and again you run into a guy with positive reviews saying ‘Bro, this chick banged the shit out of me’ and pretty much every guy reading this will know it is rare to find a woman that knows how to give a good blow job. I am not saying some guys aren’t just as terrible, I’m only saying we need to split the responsibility a bit more evenly between the sexes. So ladies next time you find yourself saying you had a bad time in bed ask yourself ‘what did I do to make this better?’. Some guys will be bad and there is absolutely nothing wrong with teaching or yelling out instructions. ‘Harder, harder, faster, faster, just there…etc’. From the sales of books like Fifty Shades of Grey and all the Mills and Boon books it is obvious to see women think about sex a lot. It is about time to take more responsibility for your orgasms and stop depending on men. Dicks are available for free everywhere but women have to invest in batteries, dildos, vibrators and whatnot to stay satisfied.

This can’t be real LMAO

Women’s bodies are different from men’s bodies. For this reason women and men enjoy sex differently and at different paces so to speak. If sex is about feeling pleasure, each individual is responsible for knowing themselves and their partner. That is to say the primary responsibility for satisfaction rests on each individual seeking it. For women communication to the man is important as it takes them longer on average to reach satisfaction. If the communication is not fun and clear, do not bother getting upset when he leaves you behind, so to speak, to finish on your own. Guys might try positions that takes them longer to finish to buy her some time. If a woman or man is incompatible at the extent of your abilities to keep up, consider the importance of sex in your relationship and contemplate trying to find a more biophysically compatible partner if need be.


Define Cheating?

Depending on who you ask, cheating comes in different shapes and forms and what one person might consider cheating another might consider innocent flirtation. Physical cheating is probably the most obvious form of cheating closely followed by emotional. They also happen to be the two easiest to detect. Digital cheating on the other hand, now that is when things get complicated. Webcam sex, sexting, BBM ‘fun’, e-mails, Facebook undercover games, the list goes on. Now what compounds this problem is not just the different strains but the difficulty in categorizing what constitutes of cheating in 2013.

I know a friend who says a girl in a relationship smiling at another guy without her man’s consent is cheating. And I know a girl that almost broke up with her boyfriend for getting off while watching porn. The question I wanted to ask her was if it would have made any difference if he jacked off without porn. The point is there is no real definition of what cheating is therefore cheating is relative. I have seen people say without any physical contact it isn’t cheating, but I wonder what they would do if they caught their partner swapping graphic pictures or engaging in a string of sexual messages. I have even heard that if you don’t get caught it isn’t cheating (I think this one is just a saying).

The question I put to you here is where do we draw the line? Is a girl in a relationship allowed to take a drink from a stranger in a nightclub and is a guy in a relationship allowed to offer drinks? Is flirting cheating? Dancing (daggering)?, cyber naughtiness? The list goes on. What do you think.

In my own humble opinion I believe that any act that could be sexually suggestive is cheating. That can be a grey definition because a guy can claim to offer a drink without wanting anything in return and a girl can claim to accept a drink just because it was offered. What are your thoughts.

Gay adoption, talk about a grey area

For an opinionated and overly honest asshole like myself it is rare to find an issue I cannot confidently take a side on but I have to say gay adoption got me sitting on the fence. I am hoping to use this post to present my thoughts on the issue and maybe one of you kind reader will be able to sway my vote. I have read a lot of opinions on this matter including comment section battles to rival the second world war online. I guess everything surrounding gay rights touches people at the base of their convictions. So what do you think of gay adoption? (interesting how even in homosexual terminology the male still represents both types, like how man represents male and female in literature).

The main argument against gay adoption lies in the potential impact on the child. The keyword here of course is ‘potential’. This means we don’t yet know for sure how the child will be affected. A lot of people have highlighted that other kids might make fun of the child in school, but what child is truly free from the terror of name calling? And do kids actually have the concept of same sex marriages in primary school. I didn’t even know about straight sexuality till my brother went to secondary school and came back to give me a science lesson to which I replied ‘That can’t be true, mummy would never let daddy do that to her’. Another argument is that you cannot force a child to accept an idea that isn’t yet accepted by the masses. People that argue from this point of view say it is best to let a child grow up to make up his or her own opinion on same sex relations. To this I say grow some balls and make a decision. Interracial marriages were only legalized fully in 1967 by USA. Are you saying prior to that it would have been wrong for interracial couples to adopt because it wasn’t yet accepted by the masses?

I have a lesbian friend with a happy partner and a baby she had in her straight days (guess that makes her bi), the kid seems happy and apparently there hasn’t been any case of bullying in school. Everyone has come across an irresponsible straight parent but we don’t seem to have a list of requirements for parenthood in straight relationships. And are we so paranoid about the gay lifestyle that we would rather have kids in orphanage homes or hopping from one foster parent to the other instead of providing a stable home with a gay family?

See what I did here?

Just some food for thought, bon apetite 🙂

P.S In Nigeria homosexuality can land you in prison for 14 years, I would write about this later.