We Really Want a Lot More Than Sex

Recently I have come across three different articles, all written by women on ‘how to keep your man’. To my surprise each one of this articles painted a picture that all men really needed to be happy in a relationship was sex. They raised the notion that most women taper the supply of sex until men have to go elsewhere to fulfil their desires. One even went as far as saying that women can try things like changing sex location i.e a bit in the bed room, a bit in the kitchen…you get the drill. Now I won’t say men don’t need sex on a somewhat regular basis, but most mature men will tell you that like everything else sex has its place in our day to day life and an oversupply of it is not going to do you any special favours.

To start with, there is only so many times a man can have sex with the same woman before he becomes used to it and the excitement dies down. This woman can be the Mona Lisa or Beyonce, it doesn’t really matter. If you are hoping to hold a man’s interest you must consider a lot more than his sexual needs. In fact our sexual needs are the easiest to fulfil and let’s be honest, it doesn’t really take a lot to do this. So what do men want I hear you ask?

I cannot give you a golden bullet or a one answer solution because there isnt one. Different men want different things and do not ever let any book or article tell you what men want categorically. Instead of feeding you some recycled lie I would tell you a hard truth. The only way to secure a man’s heart is to make yourself indispensable. If any other woman can supply exactly the same services you are supplying then what makes you special? Contrary to the idea that men are shallow and want to sleep, fuck, and eat in any order, we are actually interested in a lot of things. Some men love football, some love music, some love politics, the list goes on. You only have to examine a male magazine stand to see how wide our interests can be. Instead of investing all your time in sex think about your man’s interests and passions and how you can support and discuss these things with him. Every man is looking for a woman to make him an even better man. Regardless of how good that pussy is (pardon my use of language), without the right personality to compliment it, a man will grow tired and stray.

I will be attempting to write about how to keep a woman interested soon but to be honest I am still trying to figure out that one. Wish you all the best in your dating endeavours 🙂

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Chivalry is dead, and no, women DIDN’T kill it!

Love these ironic jokes

Love these ironic jokes

It has become popular opinion that chivalry is dead, and it was murdered in cold blood by women with their battle for equality, I beg to differ. Chivalry is dead because men today lack the character to be chivalrous. Guys are going to argue saying:

‘These women today don’t act lady-like so why should they be treated like ladies?’, ‘They want equality right? Well, they can open their own doors, pull out their own chairs, and I’ll be damned if I offer her mine, that b*tch better have some calf for standing’…you know what guys are like.

Before I carry on with my rant allow me to define chivalry: The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women (it did not specify a type of woman, it is towards ALL women). Keeping in line with the context of this post I will address mainly gallantry towards women. Day to day life in 2013 doesn’t really offer a lot of opportunity to display bravery, and honor (unless you’re in the army). If you already can’t display courtesy then you have no hope of ever being a decent person.

The notion that the independent woman cannot co-exist with the chivalrous man is at best lazy, and worst stupid. Men did not treat women gallantly because they felt women were somehow unequal to them in the past. So why would we decide that the working woman is somehow not deserving of the same treatment her ancestors enjoyed. Guys, please stop letting the side down and get some manners.

Ladies you have to be receptive to this treatment. I have to say I’ve met a few ‘I can do it all myself’ women. That’s not the point!

As for the argument that the 21st century woman doesn’t act like a lady and should therefore not be treated as such, why are we making excuses? Respect must be earned and not given, but that should be no excuse to develop inconsistency in character. I like to think of my gallantry towards women as a personality trait. It should be independent of the woman in question. We don’t need to deem a woman the cream of the crop or creme dela creme of the female specie to show some manners. If women went about accessing men for traits of classic gentlemen, the bulk of us are at best grown babies suffering from emotional instabilities and a sever case of immaturity. There is never an excuse not to show some class, unless you have no class that it. Rant over 🙂

Objectification of women (gift or curse)

Got your attention didn’t it?

The issue of the objectification of women in the media and society is probably one of the most controversial social issues of our time (not really). Sex sells and women are the more sexy of the gender so as you would expect capitalists have done what they have to do to make the profits stretch. It is almost impossible to go through a whole day without seeing some form of female objectification. Some are done tastefully, some funny (Lynx adverts), some outright derogatory (see most hip-hop videos). So is this a gift or a curse? And how is the way women are portrayed in the media affect both the way men perceive women and how women perceive themselves?

It might seem like the highly sought after ‘fat free’ hourglass shape represents an empirical formula for female beauty, but this hasn’t always been the case, and in some parts of the world it still isn’t. A quick look into history will show you that in the past women were expected to have a bit of meat on them, and the paler you were, the more attractive you seemed. I don’t need to stress how much money businesses are making of fake tan and sunbeds. Ironically in Africa women take to bleaching their skin to look lighter. I guess we are all aiming for a shade of caramel. I heard the pale skin represented wealth because it meant you didn’t work in the fields, and the weight represented the same as it meant you had enough to eat. Today the tan shows wealth because you can afford a holiday and the weight loss shows you hit the gym (wealth and fitness).

I have met a lot of ladies with real issues as regards to the media standard of beauty, but I have even met more trying to conform to it by working their ass of in the gym (pun not intended). I personally believe in the idea that the standard of beauty is determined by the society and the time in question. The media only reflects the ideas we already have in our minds but then reinforces it. But maybe I might be wrong and already brainwashed by years of exposure to MTV (when they did show music videos). The second question is do you think the current depiction of women in the media has forced insecurities on ladies today and influenced men to respect them less. While I cannot answer the former (as I am a man), I will say the latter has an element of truth to it. When a girl comes across looking like one of the objectified women we see on TV, men do have the habit of objectifying them. Can this be in anyway seen as empowerment as I have heard some girls argue, or is it downright disrespectful? Famous women all over the world have sexualized themselves to get ahead and while sexual harassment remains an issue at work women still maintain wearing pencil skirts and tight fitting blouses.

P.S A woman dressed provocatively is NOT an invitation for harassment. But all things taken into account I think we can all agree it increases the chances of that happening.

Why women cannot rule the world…YET!

A bit of sexist humor to start with 🙂

I am hoping that this one will not land me in another soup of trouble with the opposite sex but someone has to say this. I would like to start by saying that women are strong, but men still hold all the physical records in sporting events. I am no stranger to the world of feminists and their quest for equality which at best I will describe as unrealistic. The truth of the matter is that men are different from women and that is never going to change. The notion that anything a man can do, a woman can do better and vice versa is just silly. The point I am trying to make here is that each gender has its strengths and weaknesses and if only women focused more on building on their strengths instead of trying to do everything men do to prove a point, women actually have a very good chance of ruling this world.

From a socialization stand point women are constantly being groomed to fall behind in some of the world’s leading fields of development but no one seems to be addressing this issue. Little girls are given ‘baby’ dolls to take care of or dolls with doll houses. Boys on the other hand get to play with toy cars, legos, and other toy of a constructive nature. Just Google ‘Lego for girls’ and see what girls get to build when legos are given to them. From a childhood age girls are misdirected from interest in things of a technical nature and we wonder why very few girls are present at engineering lectures in the university or why the tech industry is lacking in female programmers. It is the same reason there aren’t as many men practicing hairdressing. A British Gas engineer told me they only had TWO female engineers in the region! Ladies if you are serious about equality with men it is time to deconstruct the entire idea of what it is to be a woman. The notion that girls that are interested in technical stuff and play video games are ‘Tomboys’ should tell you something about what women have accepted to be their identity in society. Instead of spending time fighting for trivial rights I will recommend the feminist movement dedicates its time to educating girls on breaking away from stereotypical female ideas. This ranges from sexual identity to inter-female relations. Women accuse men of calling promiscuous women hoes but turn around and do exactly the same to each other. I commend what fighting women in Iraq and Afghanistan did to shift the way we think of women in battle. Instead of complaining about the system they fought with valor even breaking protocols on many occasions to earn the respect of their male colleges. Actions will always speak louder than words. There are still issues around women in the military as they face difficulty completing some of the physical circuit test but no one can say they are incapable of battle.

Anyone got her number?

There is much to be said about this topic but I am hoping this opens the door for conversation. Feel free to leave your thoughts and opinions in the comment section.

Five in the AM

Seteolu, Sodeinde and the house

Landlord sets six youths ablaze for smoking hemp

1. I actually had to read this twice to be sure I wasn’t dreaming. These guys were having a joint by this guy’s house, one thing led to another in an argument and he emptied a can of petrol on them. The news reports that the boys tried to run after this but set themselves ablaze from the joint they were smoking. Speechless, see more at: http://www.punchng.com/news/landlord-sets-six-youths-ablaze-for-smoking-hemp/

US President Barack Obama and Russian President Vladimir Putin at the G8 meeting in Northern Ireland, 17 June 2013

Russia “disappointed” bilateral talks with US cancelled

2. Are we heading for another cold war? Barack Obama pulled out of a meeting last minute with Putin which we are all speculating is linked to Russia’s choice to grant the US whistle blower Snowden asylum for a year. Is it just me or has everyone else noticed the news in regards to politics hasn’t changed since we were kids. The middle-east has always been locked in some war and America has been beefing every country outside Western Europe. This is getting old! See more at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/23608052

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKaiDYJVvLk

3. In the Venezuelan coastal city of Maracaibo, they’re known as piranhas. But these aren’t the flesh-eating fish found in some South American rivers. They’re fast and ferocious thieves who residents say are increasingly attacking women. The common denominator among the victims? All of them had long hair…until thieves came at them with scissors, snipping it off. Daaamn: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/08/07/world/americas/venezuela-hair-theft/

Chris Omeleze

Policeman caught on camera demanding bribe dismissed

4. As much as this will serve as a warning to bribe collecting Nigerian police officers (don’t they all do?), I will have to say by Nigerian standards his only crime was getting caught. Is it even right to fire this officer for accepting bribe when we know politicians and police commissioners alike have defrauded the country far more than this man ever would? See more at: http://www.punchng.com/metro/policeman-caught-on-camera-demanding-bribe-dismissed/

Google launches Spotify rival Play Music in the UK

5. Is there any market Google isn’t hoping to penetrate? They have a social network, search engine, they are building self driving cars, they make phone hardware and software…now they are coming for a piece of Spotify’s pie. I will be sampling this and letting you know how it goes 🙂 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/google/10229111/Google-launches-Spotify-rival-Play-Music-in-the-UK.html

 

 

Sexism in Nigeria…both ways

I will start by saying I do not get on well with feminists. My ex-girlfriend’s mum was somewhat of a feminist and her opinions constantly kept me on edge every time we had to cross paths. I have found many feminists that I come in contact with rather close minded. I will give a brief example. Men don’t like hour glass shaped women because we watch too much porn. We like these women because evolution suggests a good waist to hip ratio signifies fertility. Nature made this up, not men. It is for this same reason women like muscular men, they seem to make better protectors and providers from cave man times. Of course today a bank account is a good substitute and while a lot of women will deny, we know success makes a man a billion times  more attractive.

Given that I have never met a black feminist I will keep an open mind that Nigerian feminists (if they do exist) might be a bit different. Christ knows women in Nigeria have it real bad. Has anyone noticed how a man’s supposed ‘sins’ are always overlooked but a woman with half the amount will be near enough stoned to death. Allow me to illustrate. If I told my friends that I bedded seven girls in a week I would be showered with praise and crowned the player of the year. Even girls have come to accept the normality of male promiscuity. In fact it is almost expected of a man to be promiscuous. A woman bedding two guys in a week on the other hand…slut, hoe, whore, harlot, Jezebel…etc. You get the picture. If we are to walk the religious line can anyone quote any instance where the Bible or whatever you read illustrated that there is one law for men and another for women? Did the ten commandment state that men were somehow exempt from fornication or adultery? Or have men made this a social norm to subjugate women?

Well that’s a solution…

I am by no means promoting promiscuity, but we have to start applying the rules to both teams or we don’t apply them at all. Everyone has that one friend that will shag a chicken but wants to marry a virgin. Are you for real? On the other hand, ladies you guys need to stop expecting us to handle your expenses when we are out. This is the 21st century. Women are educated and working at the same capacity as men these days. Some of you guys are richer than most guys. If a guy offers to pay, by all means allow him feel like Romeo. But if the guy isn’t rolling in Benjamins then please don’t make the guy buy you Brazilian hair. We all know some girl that gets a regular supply of credit from one idiot or the other. Guys we must demand equal rights too!

Said no man ever!

Black or Yellow, Black or Yellow?

gf2

As long as I can remember I have always been humanitarian as far as women are concerned. Black, white, yellow, mixed….if purple women existed I’d probably give them a go too. In fact the only thing that could make me bias to a lady in terms of beauty is a certain air of ‘exoticness’ (Hold yourself, I know it’s not a real word. My spell check made sure of that). In Nigeria for example, I find the Hausa girls a bit more appealing because their accents and distinct facial features. I’m sure if I grew up in the North I would be saying the same thing about Eastern and Southern girls. As they say: Grass is always greener on the other side.

I would love to tell you all about my many perceptions of female beauty but this article is not about me. This article is about Nigerian girls! I remember my father confiscating some bleaching cream from our house-girl many years ago. I was maybe 11 years old or less when this happened. Needless to say I was completely unaware of the concept of beauty and how it could differ from person to person. However, flash forward a few years and I have to ask; do Nigerian girls really believe that the lighter you are, the prettier you become? This question has been on my mind since someone said my sister only looks pretty because she is light skinned. I for slap the guy but na my uncle talk am, fear no let me. After my uncle made me aware of how widespread this idea of light skin equating to beauty was, I have been on the look out for trends to prove his theory.

gf4 gf3

The celebrities of every society are often blessed with the super-powers of being able to seduce any woman and from what I have seen light skin is very much in fashion. Ladies and gentlemen, can someone be kind enough to educate me on this. In my time in UK I have noticed mixed raced guys and girls alike get some kind of aesthetic pass. Is this the same back home? Should I buy some bleaching cream while I’m out here for my female lady friends?