No room for a home marker?

While I have always been an admirer of ambitious women I have also always been an advocate for freedom of choice. For the longest time I have been of the opinion that for a home to be run successfully, at least one of the partners involved has to be more domesticated. When I say domesticated in this instance I mean one of the two has to be concentrated more on the running of the house if they want to create time for the children and even for each other.

Traditionally, the role of home maker used to be that of a woman, but women have come a long way from that and I will not insult their struggle by suggesting that we go back to that. This is what I would suggest instead. I find that in most relationships there is already someone more suited to be the home maker and both already know this. If your mind has already nominated a woman to fill this position it’s not my fault that stereotype exists. I believe the more domesticated partner can be the man or the woman but that isn’t what makes us so nervous about playing the role of home maker.

For most men we have the egocentric thinking that tells us it is emasculating to take on such a role and there is also the problem of how women perceive men. I will venture into the land of assumptions and claim that most women are predisposed to being attracted by a financially successful man. This is not to be mistaken for gold digging! Being able to provide has long been an evolutionary advantage for men and that mentality still lives on. Women on the other hand face what I have now termed the ‘feminist stigma’. No man I know of has ever shown distaste over a woman deciding to get a job that afforded her more time at home (if the husband can afford it we don’t even mind full time housewives). Women on the other hand with the new ‘do you think I belong in the kitchen’ attitude have taken to talk down on other females that might have decided to become home markers.

Bit of funky grammar going on here…

It seems like in a world that demands more and more of our time, instead of running the family unit like a single household we have adopted an independent lifestyle over a cooperative one. Maybe it is time to start thinking about how we view relationship dynamics and how we think of the role of the home maker. Running a home is no easy task and sometimes could be the difference between a lasting relationship and a broken one.

Toying with sex…

Don’t ask what led to this, but basically I went from discussing the possibility of a future where robots were integrated into society to how they might replace spouses. There are already people married to dolls and even pillows in Japan. The obvious question was would we eventually start sleeping with machines…ermm we kind of already do (vibrators and all that stuff). But I’m not trying to write a post about sex toys, instead I’m trying to ask why is it that the use of sex toys is socially accepted for women but not so much for men?

Women talk to each other about their latest purchases and there is no real awkwardness in discovering a sex toy in a female’s room. For men on the other hand, your hand is as much a helper as you are allowed. Just imagine walking into a guy’s room to discover this:

Given that men are generally assumed to be the hornier of the gender you would think the shop floors of sex shops would be littered with toys intended for male sexual gratification but this is far from the case. I have two theories to support the phenomenon but I am curios to what everyone else thinks. Firstly, I propose that maybe because it is too easy for men to ‘arrive’ there is really no need for us to invest in extras. While this explains why very little research and development has gone into producing male sex toys, it doesn’t explain why it is hasn’t been normalized in society for men to use sex toys for self-pleasure (I am cringing writing a lot of these phrases, such a prude). Regarding the social stigmatization of men using toys for masturbation I am guessing it arises of the egocentric thought process of men in regards to sex. Because we praise our ability to be promiscuous we regard using such toys as a sign that the guy is ‘not getting enough’ because his game is weak. Women on the other hand are free from this conception, at least to a degree enough to make it acceptable for them to substitute with mechanical assistants. Any thoughts?

Dress as you wish to be addressed…or not?

I am always nervous when I write any post that might upset some women, but ladies would you rather not know the truth about how guys think rather than some sugar-coated post? Perhaps if we talked more about these thing instead of assuming the opposite sex should just ‘know’ this we might reach a better understanding. In the absence of females (or presence of cool chicks) guys discuss a lot of things most girls would kill us for even thinking of. The state of female fashion without a doubt is one the many topics we discuss. It is a free world (well some parts at least). You have every right to dress as you see fit but ladies you have to be aware that how you appear translates to an impression and more often than not you will be judged to a certain degree. And on this note I will like to highlight that girls do this to each other too but it’s sort of like black people using the N word. We are allowed to use it with each other but God forbid a white person utters it. The only difference is girls will judge other girls based on their own personal standards. In other words the more provocative a girl dresses, the more room she has to tolerate other girls dressing provocatively.

Unfortunately guys can’t really be as provocative as women simply because anatomically we aren’t just as sexy. You won’t really blink twice at a topless man but a woman stepping out of the house in just a bra will cause a bit of a stare. I still don’t understand why bikinis are perfectly fine but bras are off limits. Anyways, not to get off topic, here is the male reasoning behind female fashion choice. The more provocative a girl is dressed, the more tolerating she will be towards sexual advances and this is how we justify it in our heads. Women know men are famous for thinking with our penises or at least on behalf of it. Women also know men are visual creatures (You have Fifty Shades of Grey, we have Pornhub). So clearly if you have your ‘assets’ on display you are sending out a visual signal that you are open for business. No guy stares at a woman’s cleavage and thinks ‘I bet she has an amazing personality’, On the other hand when we spot a woman looking sophisticated or classy we think ‘Hmmm, she isn’t putting out her sexual looks so she wouldn’t be prone to sexual attention’. In the course of my growing up I have learned to dispel this mode of thinking but I have to say it requires effort. One can also argue that dressing provocatively is like an inception of the idea of sex into a guy’s mind. Because that thought has already been slipped into the guy’s mind it directs his actions and the result is a sexual approach.

Ladies I am sure you have your reasons for dressing in see through tops and clothes of that nature. You are welcome to educate us in the comment section. A lady friend of mine once told me dressing provocatively made her feel confident. I told her it sounded like she had confidence issues. It was the last time I shared such an opinion with a female.