Unfortunately we live in a society where perception is reality as much as we may wish to have it differently. In a conversation with a moderate feminist last weekend we managed to touch on the subject of how women should dress. I particularly try to avoid this topic because I am always worried about being misunderstood. In a free world we must be free to think and dress as we please, but we also have to take into account the consequences of some actions. We might not like to admit it, but our perceptions are constantly being reshaped daily by what we see around us. What I am trying to say is that while you can wear whatever you like, you have to be willing to accommodate assumptions attached to your choice of clothing.
I’m sure some of you have watched those Amazon tribe documentaries where women walk around bare breasted like it is casual. Well, I guess in some societies it is. They are not being labeled as sluts, hoes, or whatever derogatory term men use these days. In most developed or developing societies however, thanks to music videos and other media streams certain attachments come with exposing some skin especially the breasts and buttocks region (did I just write buttocks?). It is my opinion that while a woman is free to dress as she pleases without crossing the line of indecent exposure for the sake of children and the general public, she should also be aware of the perception she may be setting.
It is also worth mentioning that dressing extremely provocatively sends the male thinking down the testosterone route. I mean who looks at a female with half her tits hanging out and thinks ‘I bet she got a good head on her shoulders’. I will like to add that this is NOT an endorsement of rape and other blatantly anti-social and criminal behavior on the grounds that a female was showing too much skin. Men can think what we want to about the skimpiest outfit but it doesn’t justify grabbing a female’s bum without her permission. Display is no invitation.
P.S Why is it okay for women to pinch a guy’s ass but the other way round is a social crime….think about it.
The other day I was having a conversation with a female friend of mine. It was a Sunday, and naturally she asked if I had done much with my day. I told her I hadn’t even stepped out the house and then came the second question. She now wanted to know if I went to a church service. I told her I didn’t and that was were our argument started. She said she would only marry a God fearing man and I asked her what that had to do with attendance in church.
Nigeria is an overly religious nation and if I dare say it, this is one of the biggest issues we face as far as social progression is concerned. Can you believe that on a road in Benin City I was able to count 16 churches in 1km. That is to say Usain Bolts would run past 16 churches in under two minutes in this city. But for all this presence of God in Benin there are very few cities in Nigeria as dangerous as this one. If we cannot accept anything else, let us at least accept that the current religious scene in Nigeria is marked with hypocrisy. How do we explain being one of the most religious countries in the world and also one of the most corrupt? An oxymoron if I ever saw one.
I have no problem with people believing whatever it is that soothes their soul, but when ideas drawn from these belief systems start to affect others then it become a problem. I will give an example. Earlier this year a law was passed to send homosexuals in Nigeria to prison for 14 years. Sadly, as I expected this was greeted with cheers by Nigerians on the premise that it was termed an abomination in the bible. This is the questions I pose to these so called Christians: What would Jesus do? Is the fundamental philosophy of being a Christian not being Christ-like? I cannot tell you for certain what Jesus would have done, but I am certain he wouldn’t lock anyone up for 14years. That in itself is immoral and if you support such measure of marginalisation then you are part of the Nigerian problem.
And when did religious grounds become valid for law making in a secular state? We were all up in arms with Yerima’s insinuation of child marriage on religious grounds, but when it suited our agendas we were all happy to accept religion as grounding for law making. And why stop at anti-gay laws, how about anti-adultery laws, laws against fornication,….did you know that the bible also regards eating shrimp to be an abomination in Leviticus! Where are the state laws to regulate these sins, or have we decided to pick and choose because it is easy to accept restrictions that do not restrict us. If you are a man and have watched girl-on-girl porn then you aren’t even qualified to have a negative opinion on homosexuality. For as long as religion has existed men have bent and twisted it to suit our needs and that is all that is happening in Nigeria today. I will stop here before I go into essay mode and rant on, but you can expect more posts of this nature. We need to drop this religious charade and get into the habit of learning to respect others even if we have clashing spiritual ideologies. It is almost as if the average Nigerian cannot comprehend that someone else can have a different idea of life to theirs, like we have some sort of monopoly of the truth.
I am no Nigeria historian or anthropologist but I don’t think it takes either to understand the Nigerian problem. It’s been 53 years and we still suffer from side-effects of colonialism as the world merges into a global village. Today Nigerians all over the world would be partying to mark he birth of our nation, but this is my question…what exactly are we celebrating? Surely this would be a good time to sit and reflect on our journey so far and the prospective future. With out constant reflection and evaluation how can we improve? Or is the idea of a better Nigeria merely a fantasy we delude ourselves with while carrying on with business as usual. I will spend this month writing on social issues in Nigeria and I would very much like fellow Nigerians and foreigners alike to engage in these discussions. As you can expect the content of some of these post will be sensitive, I ask that all arguments are brought forward with respect of each other’s opinions in the absence of foul language or other derogatory remarks. I look forward to hearing from you all.
I am no sociologist but I don’t think you have to be one to recognize where human potential has not been tapped. Nigeria is populated with over 140million people of which 68% live in poverty. Thanks to poor governance we have developed an oligarchy where nepotism is more or less the only way to be a part of the ruling class and this spreads even into obtaining a job. It is no news that Nigeria is rich with oil, blessed with good weather (can be a bit too hot), manpower (can’t wait for the politically correct version of this word), fertile soil, and a bunch of other naturally good stuff. So why have we developed a system with a middle and upper class supported by a sea of extreme lower class?
I was startled to see a few men in office get picked up by the airport with more or less ten cars in a convoy (each of course). Not only does our government spend recklessly but most of what should be national funds are treated as private profits leaving behind a trail of underdevelopment in a fast developing world. While I can sit down in the comfort of an air conditioned room to think over this issue the average Nigerian is too busy thinking about basic survival to care about socio-political matters. Lack of good education and promotion of distractions like over-religiousness and political rhetoric played in the media has worsened the situation leaving any hope for change in the hands of the middle and upper-class. If history is anything to go by then we know a man on a full stomach is not prepared to revolt for any cause of an economic nature.
I might have been away for eight years but fundamentally nothing has changed. There has been some development but this must not be confused with progress. I will be doing more writings of a socio-political and economic nature. There is much to write about the effects of tribal differences, possibilities of revolutions, and debates on democracy. I have to say I do enjoy knowing that there is much to be done here and I definitely hope to be as much a ‘doer’ as I am a ‘sayer’. Stay tuned for more.
2. Let’s just say our kids are not going to grow up on NES…boy do I miss playing my NES
3. Real or Fake? Watch Jim Iyke catch the holy ghost sent by TB Joshua….NO COMMENT
4. Boko Haram kills over 40 in school….cowards!
These cowards continue to show themselves leaving disaster and bloodshed in their path. Even on religious grounds I know Islam disapproves of killing of children. But let us not get this confused with a holy war, these guys are just a sect of nut jobs and something serious has to be done about them. The situation is already out of hand.
5. Eventually we would all exist as biomechanical creatures, just think about it. But this is amazing advancement for neuro-mechanics (I might have coined this phrase myself).
1. I actually had to read this twice to be sure I wasn’t dreaming. These guys were having a joint by this guy’s house, one thing led to another in an argument and he emptied a can of petrol on them. The news reports that the boys tried to run after this but set themselves ablaze from the joint they were smoking. Speechless, see more at: http://www.punchng.com/news/landlord-sets-six-youths-ablaze-for-smoking-hemp/
Russia “disappointed” bilateral talks with US cancelled
2. Are we heading for another cold war? Barack Obama pulled out of a meeting last minute with Putin which we are all speculating is linked to Russia’s choice to grant the US whistle blower Snowden asylum for a year. Is it just me or has everyone else noticed the news in regards to politics hasn’t changed since we were kids. The middle-east has always been locked in some war and America has been beefing every country outside Western Europe. This is getting old! See more at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/23608052
3. In the Venezuelan coastal city of Maracaibo, they’re known as piranhas. But these aren’t the flesh-eating fish found in some South American rivers. They’re fast and ferocious thieves who residents say are increasingly attacking women. The common denominator among the victims? All of them had long hair…until thieves came at them with scissors, snipping it off. Daaamn: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/08/07/world/americas/venezuela-hair-theft/
Policeman caught on camera demanding bribe dismissed
4. As much as this will serve as a warning to bribe collecting Nigerian police officers (don’t they all do?), I will have to say by Nigerian standards his only crime was getting caught. Is it even right to fire this officer for accepting bribe when we know politicians and police commissioners alike have defrauded the country far more than this man ever would? See more at: http://www.punchng.com/metro/policeman-caught-on-camera-demanding-bribe-dismissed/
Google launches Spotify rival Play Music in the UK